Last Saturday, the 28th June, saw the Maltman's Green School 90th Anniversary Charity Ball in aid of the Wexham Park Ventilator. And what a fabulous event it was. The evening was warm and sunny, perfect for a glass of champagne outside, the company was enchanting - all 410 of them - the marquee was beautifully decorated, comfortable and the floral decorations, courtesy of She who must etc...were most effective. The band, Lovetrain, were a blast and the guests were incredibly generous. Monies are being counted as I write...eleventy twelve, eleventy thirteen...and we do not yet have a definitive figure but it is way ahead of our expectation. I knew what we needed from the auction and was able to announce that we had achieved our target for the Ventilator during the evening which was satisfying. It's funny isn't it but just as we are leaving we are discovering really wonderful people with whom we would have had terrific friendships during our 6 years at the school, I am sure. One spectacularly beautiful woman to whom I had never spoken before and who had seemed to be unaware of my presence - indeed, positively to ignore me - throughout our time at the school, came up to me and we had a delightful conversation. It just shows how wrong you can be about people, sometimes. Or perhaps she had been helped to a couple of glasses of the fizzy stuff. Anyway, for a minute I was flattered. I was treated royally by the organisers and had great fun running the auction where I think we pulled £10,000 off the floor in 15 minutes. It just goes to show what support the guests were giving. The committee were spread around the tables pointing out the bidders. It was hard to see as there was light on stage and a lovely romantic and atmospheric gloom throughout the marquee. One chap in a white tux confused me as he stood next to the white of the tenting. One of the girls was frantically pointing to this bidder and I could see nothing. Then a couple of chaps struck up a conversation across two tables and as they couldn't hear each other because of me, starting pointing at each other. One of them was completely unaware that he was the lead bid on the Sunseeker Motoryacht day at £2,250 for a moment, while the other nearly copped a pair of Pave earrings for just under a grand. And then I was dragged back on stage as the band sang Happy Birthday - the Stevie Wonder song, thankfully and not the 'squashed tomatoes and stew' one. What an evening !

I am still waiting for the results from the Chiltern Shakespeare Company for their proceeds from A Midsummer Night's Dream and the Breath Of Fresh Air evening. They will be along shortly. What I can tell you is that the 'Procurement' fellow at Wexham Park has done a fantastic deal on the Ventilator, the Draeger Evita XL - ask for it by name whenever you are taken to ITU for a bit of resuscitation - and we are easily able to afford one within our fund raising. We may be able to afford one or even two of the smaller type of ventilator, the Oxylog. This is a transport ventilator. In a nutshell if you have a patient in ITU on a ventilator who needs to be transferred to say the John Radcliffe for special treatment, then they will need to be on a ventilator in the ambulance and the Oxylog is the ventilator for this. At £10,000 each - less the 'procurement' chap's discount, they are cheaper than the Draegers and we may be able to afford two. So as soon as the bean counting has been done we will be able to make an announcement.

So that looks like the end of the fund raising. Now we have the admin, the accounts for the Charity Commission, the gift aid forms. So some of you may well be getting a form from us for signing so that we and you can collect our tax rebates.

Now I need to get on with getting on. A bit of sailing wouldn't go amiss. I already have two trips on Dorothy Lee for the auction winners and then I will be out on Bernard's Sunseeker for the Sunseeker auction winners.

I never explained my devilishly clever idea for getting the attention of editors' at the National papers and magazines. I had toyed with clipping a fiver to my letter but this was scene as naff at best and desperate at worst and at variance with the quality of the work being offered - not my words but those of a concerned friend. Gary P, solved the problem when he said give them a Lottery Ticket and then you can say that 'of my two offerings, one as a columnist on your paper or the lottery ticket, I have to tell you that only one is a gamble' Clever stuff. I wrote a short letter and centred it on the page just like a few column inches of article and sent off my pitch.

Well the responses have been fabulous. Some of the rejections have been so positive that they have almost been acceptances. The Sunday Mirror was probably the best. They loved the lottery ticket idea and my articles, mentioned that I had talent which did me no end of good, said "don't give up"..."try the heavies". When I consider that they could have simply binned the package or asked Dorothy to send the usual, I feel honoured that they wrote such a constructive and positive letter.

The Daily Sport reply must have come from the Picture Editor because it was practically unreadable and it was shot full of typing and grammar mistakes. It had clearly had not been near a 'poof reader', I'm sorry 'proof reader'. It mentioned something about the Bahamas and a girl with enormous 'Beasts'. I can only imagine that this was supposed to be 'Breasts', although knowing the 'Sprot' they could just as easily have been 'Beasts'. But it was fantastic that they sent me a reply. Ian Hislop was amused. Richard Ingrams wasn't. Perhaps the 'Oldie' is never amused.

The local newspaper and I struck up a dialogue which was reasonably amusing and while there was not the budget to employ me as a columnist he did want to include some of our correspondence in his leader. Would I be happy with a credit ? I pointed out that he must have misread my original pitch letter and where I had opened with "For the usual fee etc." he had read "For the usual free". Nonetheless I succumbed to his persuasion, probably because I was flattered. Flattered does not however pay the household bills. Anyway as you can see I am at it in terms of making the new career blossom and I hope to report success soon.

Traditional Boats and Tall Ships magazine paid yesterday for my May articles. So I am published and paid.

Voiceover wise I continue to improve and my voice is as strong if not stronger than before the accident. Ten open air shows over a couple of weeks does wonders for one's voice.

As one often does with a part in a play I have very much adopted the flavour of the character of Theseus, excepting some of his extremes. I don't think I will be conquering nations, or applying the law of Athens where you didn't take issue with your issue, if they didn't do as you said you put them to death. It's a fairly persuasive way of making a point you have to admit ! I do love the lines, however "....To you, your father should be as a God. One who composed your beauty yeah and one to whom you are but as a form in wax. By him imprinted and within his power to leave the figure, or disfigure it...." This has been trotted out to Ellie but I have to say that the effect has not been what I had hoped for. The response, "like, whatever" didn't really do it for me.

There will be more when I have the figures and can tell what we are really able to buy.

Duncan